Thursday, January 20, 2011

Bad Grandma Resolves! Or Not.

I have made all sorts of resolutions for 2011:

- Lose 20 pounds
- Exercise regularly
- Get my house organized
- Get my life organized
- Do not procrastinate

So far, I have done none of the above.

Dieting and exercise are two things that I absolutely abhor. I am trying to visualize myself twenty pounds lighter hoping that will motivate me but it’s not working – in fact, I now believe there is much beauty in an ample body. The other thing is that when a person is old and wrinkled - body fat fills out the wrinkles – that’s another plus! I have started exercising – I am doing leg-ups while lying on the couch watching tv and toe curls when I am on my computer.

Getting organized is entirely another matter. It seems I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to remember where I put something. It is not unusual to find an item that I thought was lost, or had forgotten I had. I recently found a pair of boots that I haven’t seen for three years, the lifetime warranty for my diamond rings, my strapless bra, and my grandmother’s cookbooks dating from the 1930s.

Grandma’s cookbooks were my big find – they contain much more than recipes, they are manuals for creating an organized and economically managed home – hallelujah!! But, do I need to know that lipstick mixed with a little hand lotion makes a great rouge or how to make thread spool-holder out of a foam wig stand?

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll brush my tongue. Grandma’s book says it will help keep my breath fresh. Baby steps!


  1. Grandma is right. In the last year I have been forced to get...*looking all around before whispering to you*....dentures, and I wondered where I would get that minty clean fresh taste in my mouth, since I no longer have teeth to brush. Brushing my gums and tongue is great!

    I am also no good at making and keeping resolutions. In 2010, on December 30, my COPD crashed on me, putting me in the hospital. I lay there New Year's Eve watching fireworks out my window (I've had better New Year's Eves) I thought that quitting smoking would be a good resolution, especially since I was going to have to, and was already 2 days along the road. 26 days now. I'll be hooked to an oxygen tank the rest of my life, but I'm still alive and not smoking.

  2. This list? It is mine own list.

    I hate excercise though. Especially the organized kinds or the ones that hurt.I am simply resolved to move more purposefully, with better posture and add a curl or two to my days.

    I am certain that when (please, please let when be soon) my house feels more organized the books will write themselves and my interior spaces, so crowded with recrimination & worry, fret & fear, will miraculously mirror the outer spaces and, then, THEN I will surely become a perfect person.

    Those recipe books? Treasures.